Sometimes a deity’s personality, methods, and antics might not vibe well with you. They’re autonomous beings capable of making their own decisions and they won’t always do the things you expect them to. Gods can say “no.” I saw it put very well in a post on tumblr: Gods aren’t dolls you can take out of a box and play with whenever and however you’d like. Gods can be held accountable for their actions, and you don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with just because they asked. You can say “no.” Just because a deity/spirit wants something doesn’t mean you always have to give it to them. It’s okay to use a third party to help with an instance of discernment if you need, but ultimately no person or entity should be interpreting your relationship with a deity or spirit for you. That can open you up to a whole lot of potential abuse. Your relationship is between you and the deity. No one should act as a dedicated “interpreter” between you and the deity in question. This involves researching, learning new tools, learning new skills, sharpening your clairsenses, and trial-and-error. Some final miscellaneous expectations involving deity work are as follows:ĭeity work takes effort. In this sense, they’re not a direct replacement for mundane relationships, especially not romantic ones. Lastly, while deity relationships look a lot like mundane ones, they fulfill spiritual needs rather than physical ones. Deity relationships are built, not assigned. If you want to work with a specific deity, it’s perfectly fine to reach out first. These relationships can be started by either you or the deity. (You can read more about spiritual abuse red flags in Chapter 4.) No matter the dynamic, healthy deity relationships involve: These dynamics aren’t forced, but instead grow from the collaboration of both the deity and the devotee. If deity relationships don’t always have a Lord/Servant dynamic, then what dynamics do they have? Some examples include Teacher/Student, Parent/Child, Artist/Muse, Familial, Friends, and even Lovers. Navigating that requires practice, self-sovereignty, and discernment. The trick to successful deity relationships lies in knowing they play by the same rules as mundane relationships. But in Norse Paganism, for example, deities represent human behavior taken to larger-than-life proportions, and therefore are figures we can relate to. In Christianity, God is seen as both a paragon to live up to and a being to please. That’s because deity relationships work the same way as human relationships-they can take on any dynamic, be healthy or unhealthy, and begin and end.Ī big part of this has to do with how a religion views divinity. When it comes to paganism, not all devotees or even deities want a Lord/Servant dynamic with each other. It’s especially not the approach for animistic religions like Norse Paganism. This is not the universal approach to divinity, not even in other organized religions. Those with a Catholic background may have also learned that God doesn’t bother with everyday human lives. If you’re a Westerner, it’s likely your understanding of a God/Devotee relationship is that of a Lord/Servant dynamic. In the Western world, our approach to divinity is heavily Christianized and heavily colonized, and Westerners typically have a Christian impression of divinity even if they didn’t grow up practicing the faith. Starting relationships with deities and spirits means knowing what these relationships can look like. Be prepared for that language as you work through this guide. I experience gods, spirits, and entities as autonomous even if I don’t experience them as literal. My slant in this guide comes from a hard polytheistic and animist perspective. That’s because spiritual practices can be tailored to your spiritual needs and worldview. However, not all pagans are polytheists, nor does someone need to be a polytheist (or even theistic at all) in order to be pagan. Many polytheists identify as “pagans” or those who follow earth-focused practices. Some polytheists are even what’s known as polyaffiliated, meaning they work with multiple gods from different pantheons. Some polytheists may work with one god even while acknowledging others, while others work with many different gods. Polytheism can be approached in many different ways, from a soft polytheistic standpoint (the belief that gods are archetypes) to a hard polytheistic one (the belief that gods are, in some way, fully autonomous beings). Polytheism, at its core, is the belief in multiple gods. These are terms often (but not exclusively) used in pagan and polytheistic communities. “Spirit work” and “Deity work” are terms that describe the act of forming relationships with spirits and deities.
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